One Year

This past Sunday, August 22, marks my one year anniversary of being in Rwanda. (minus the summer in NC!) This summer, people always asked me to tell them about what life is like here in the land of a thousand hills. Tell me about Africa is a phrase I heard so often. And many times I didn't know where to begin. There's too much to say, and too much that would be left unsaid if I tried. I can't quite adequately give this experience the justice it deserves when I talk about it; the life, the culture, the people, their smiles and hopes and dreams. I think I do the best when I try to tell their stories. Because their words always speak louder than anything I could say. Everyone has a story to tell here, and I try to adopt others' stories, as I fumble over my own. But the truth is, it's hard to explain it in words. Being here again, on African soil, running down the red dusty roads, listening to conversations at the market in all kinds of languages, being in a position to help others, to teach, to learn from them...it has changed me. Africa changes you. If you've spent any time in this wonderful continent, you know what I mean. There's something about this place that gets in my blood, and it has changed me. It has changed the way I view the world, the U.S., people. It has changed the way I view God. This one year has flown by. Like any experience, at first everything is new and foreign, and then you find your niche, and learn to adjust to the myriad of differences. And then one day, after being here a few months, you wake up and realize that this is normal now; that this is now your home! Of course, it was wonderful being back at "home" in N.C. this summer, where my family is. My heart is there, but my heart is here also.

I guess the irony is that home is really neither here nor there. Not for any of us! We, as followers of Jesus Christ, are kind of like aliens who don't have a home, per se. Or our real homes have not been realized yet. There's a lot about Rwanda that now feels like home to me, but of course, for all practical purposes it is obvious to everyone around me that Rwanda is not my true home. Having much lighter skin, blue eyes, and blonde hair, really sets me apart. I'm called "mzungu" every day by the locals, and hear the shouts as I run by them. "Mzungu" can mean foreigner, white person, or man walking in circles. Ha! I'm still an outsider here in many ways. But do people realize that we are all outsiders here on Earth? (Hebrews 11:13, 1 Peter 2:11). Is our life and walk with Jesus such that people recognize us as alien from an eternal “home”, rather than from North Carolina, the U.S.A. or elsewhere? (2 Peter 3:13) I try to ask, do my actions and words reflect my life in Christ, or do they simply reflect a stereotype, an accent, or regional behavior?

I know I am normally stereotyped as "rich" and "influential" in this current environment I am in. The influence God has given me here in Africa has come with not only a great ability to influence others, but also a burden to reflect Christ Jesus even more carefully. My days are filled with challenge and opportunity. Sometimes the challenges make it hard to appreciate the opportunity, and yet it is both a challenge and opportunity that God has called me here to this wonderful place, with your prayers and generous support. I'm only here by the grace of God!

This is home for me now. But in many ways, North Carolina felt the same this summer. But neither one feels exactly right. I guess wherever your home is, you shouldn't be too comfortable that you don't long for something better. Not a new city, or new house; but an eternal home that awaits us....and in the mean time, we are called to be the salt and the light to reach others with the knowledge that grace covers our humanity. (Matthew 5: 13-17).

Sorry, I got off on a tangent there about "home." Back to reflecting on one year in this beautiful place...

It is lifegiving to me to be here! There's something about Africa that makes me come alive...the beauty of the land, the brilliant smiles of the people you meet daily, the laughter of the children, the smells from the cooking huts, the hustle and bustle of the chaotic and lively market, the culture and vivacious traditional dancers, the beating of the drums in church, singing praises in so many languages, my diverse classroom, the huge volcanos and the rolling plains that are host to the wild animals, afternoon chai with a friend, not being constrained by time (it's African time!), running down the dusty, red dirt roads, the joys of watching the contentment in a child untainted by the desire for earthly possessions, the thrill of riding a motorcycle through the city during rush hour, and through the rolling hills as well, the sparkle in the eyes of the children at Mother Teresa's, the hardworking nuns who greet me, the hope of young people to achieve their goals and dreams, the determination and strength of a country to move past their dark history and into a bright future....these are just a few of the things that make me feel alive here in Rwanda and in Africa. Life is being lived here, and it brings me hope! Each day is a new adventure to be claimed.

But we also know that not all of Rwanda, or not all of Africa is full of joy and color and beauty. This country has suffered deep pains for many years. Suffering that neither you nor I could ever imagine. People here know horror. But they have also learned forgiveness. Even with the country's great strides though in the past 16 years, there are still millions of children who are orphaned and who still bear hunger pains daily. Even though Rwanda is set to be the next "technology" hub for East Africa, people are still dying of easily treatable diseases everyday.

I'm just gonna be honest here...one of the hardest things for me to find is my response to all of this. I wish I could say that I am always perfectly compassionate and that I respond in the most sensitive and appropriate ways. However, there are days when I am completely annoyed by the beggars who follow me around the neighborhood wanting my change. And there are days when I feel overwhelmingly guilty that I have white skin and was born into a family of privilege in the United States of America. There are days where I am extremely infuriated by the social injustices of this world, and there are days where I am just hopelessly heartbroken by needs around me, and I don't know what to do. But I know someone who does! And I continue to call on Him for answers.
But each day as I face different challenges and opportunities, I also feel blessed beyond belief to be here! To be a part of peoples' lives and their stories. To have influenced some of those stories...I am blessed! There are people who have rocked my world teaching me about the capabilities of the human heart and the limitless boundaries of the human strength. There are instances everyday where my faith is strengthened through a simple conversation and where I am awestruck by the beauty of the scenery that surrounds me. I relish in the freedom that comes from escaping a life of comfort, security, and familiarity. These people are teaching me more about life, love and our Father than I could ever teach them! God doesn't need me here. But I'm so humbled He chose to send me here. And so I try not to go through life each day overlooking simple joys or abundant blessings....OR ignoring distrubing injustices and cruelties of this world we live in. I must face both realities and gracefully learn to balance the two. And so here I am, this white-skinned, blonde-haired, blue-eyed, Southern girl, in this foreign land, learning to do just that. And in the meantime...longing for a more "permanent home."