Keep back nothing

"Submit to death, death of your ambitions and favorite wishes every day and death of your whole body in the end; submit with every fibre of your being, and you will find eternal life. Keep back nothing. Nothing that you have not given away will really be yours. Nothing in you that has not died will ever be raised from the dead. Look for yourself, and you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin, and decay. But look for Christ and you will find Him, and with Him everything else thrown in. " ~C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

This challenges me. In the biggest way. Especially the part about, keep back nothing. I tend to want to hold onto things, and keep trying to work them around in my head, and fix it how I think it should be fixed. And many times, when I do give something totally over to God, I think that I'll just end up being disappointed. I feel sad about it, cause I feel like I've lost something. Such little faith! But you know, the things I have truly, truly given over to Him, I haven't at all been disappointed. So then, why does it still remain such a challenge to continue to let Him have control...control over my desires, my wishes, my ambitions, of other people that I want to know him, to love Him. What C.S. Lewis says is honestly hard to do, but necessary. "Look to Him, and everything else will be thrown in."