Life-changing moments

Life-changing moments. We've all had them. Think about some of those moments right now. Those days when something happened that changed everything! Some are greater than others. And some not so great when we got older and realized whatever it was wasn't so life-changing after all. Some make us feel estatic, others rock us in a bad way. But at that moment, for that day, they are monumental.

Our housegirl/dayguard, Germaine, had one of those days today. And I don't know whether she felt estatic, or rocked to the core...but I imagine it was a little of both, and a lot of in-between. Germaine is in her early 20's, and has an older sister, Emerithe, who is the housegirl for our friends, the Magruders. (I'll explain the term "housegirl" later. It's kind of like a maid, but not really. It's kind of strange to have someone do things for you, but it's a part of the culture that is expected of you and other Rwandans as well. And it's pertinent to have someone at your house when you aren't there. But basically, it's a way of providing jobs for the locals.)

Anyway, Germaine came early this morning and let me know she couldn't stay. There was a family emergency. I immediately thought something must have happened to Emerithe, as she is Germaine's only family. Her father, mother, other sister, and brother were all killed during the genocide 16 years ago. But Germaine didn't say anything more this morning....just left in a hurry. She doesn't know a lot of English, and also Rwandans are very, very private and it takes a lot for them to trust and open up, so it wasn't unusual for her not to explain.

I found out later through Mrs. Magruder and Emerithe that today, May 17, 2010...a full 16 years after the unthinkable genocide that killed one million Rwandans....the government contacted these two sisters and let them know they had discovered the remains of their family members in a latrine, upcountry in a tiny village near their old homestead. And they could come collect the remains.

I know, it sounds crazy. Yes, the government is STILL finding and locating remains and contacting family members. All this time, these two sisters had no idea where the bones of their mom, dad, sister and brother were. Yesterday they didn't know. Today they know! How do you react to that news? I was trying all day to put myself in her shoes. What do you do or say? How do you feel? Do you feel? What do you feel? I can only imagine.

Germaine and Emerithe packed a small bag of their belongings and left on a bus to Gitarama today to collect their family's remains, and now begin preparing for a proper burial for them. 16 years later! I know you might be thinking, why did it take this long? I don't know. There are many different reasons. The government could have been waiting for the criminals to be prosecuted through the gacaca village court system. Or the latrine could have been on property of a stranger, possibly a Hutu, who didn't allow the government or anyone to go and retrieve them. But what we are suspecting and hearing is that they did not even know where this latrine was or even that their family's remains were discovered there.

I don't know what Germaine is thinking or feeling right now. But please join in praying for these two young sisters, for their strength and closure at this difficult time.

On a totally seperate note, I have another prayer request that I would like to offer up, if you could join me....there's a young couple here, Phil and Becca, who are missionaries and they just recently adopted a precious Rwandan baby. Just 3 weeks ago, Phil and Becca traveled back to the U.S. to attend her brother's wedding and introduce the baby to their families. After being back one week, Becca has been diagnosed with breast cancer, and now they will remain in the States indefinitely. It's such a bittersweet time for them, as they are so excited about their new additon, and also scared about what the future holds. Their faith is very strong and they know that nothing happens by chance. Please join me in lifting us this young family as they are experiencing a time of unknown.

Thanks for all your prayers! I love you all!

Carwash

Carwash is a landmark here in Kigali...kind of like What-a-Burger is back home. It's definitely worthy enough to blog about. Carwash is a very unique, seedy little meat joint that has the BEST tasting pork and goat brochettes in town! When I need some cheap protein, I head here! So why is it called Carwash? Because in addition to being a restaurant and bar, it's a fully fledged carwash....AND you can rent videos here AND get a massage AND get your nails done, AND buy groceries! All in the same place! Like I said, it's very unique, and hilarious! The plastic tables are set out in an open parking lot, and you can watch the butcher chop up your meat and grill it up for you. You better go early because it takes a good hour and a half for the food to come (if it's a good night), but it's worth it! While you're waiting, you can listen to the very loud thumping 80's music or Kenyan rap music in the background. (The owner is Kenyan.) OR...you can get your car washed! (if you have a car.) I can say that I have ONLY eaten here, and most probably will continue to ONLY eat in the future. Everything else is just a tad bit sketchy, but the meat keeps me coming back. They serve a huge plate of freshly cooked meat, with mokimo (mashed potatoes and peas mixed together..it's delicious!), and kachumbari, which is tomatoes and onions mixed with vinegar and lemon juice. You always leave Carwash with a full stomach! (and perhaps a clean vehicle as well!) Sadly, I don't have a picture of Carwash yet, as it is always dark when we go here. I'll try to take one soon!

A great moment!

I just had one of those great teacher moments that will stay with me forever. And it wasn't really a "teacher" moment...just a moment where I realized God shows up in unlikely places, in unlikely ways and surprises you! One of those moments where you just thank God for how cool and awesome He is. It's progress report time and we're having parent conferences today and tomorrow. I just had my last conference today, and I couldn't have ended the school day on a better note. This conference was with a parent of one of the newer students, from the Dominican, who was very withdrawn when he arrived and sullen, and didn't play well with others. ha! But in the last month, I've seen a great change in this kid...he tries, he wants to do well in school, he's self-controlled in four-square games now. But the biggest difference is written all over his face. I see joy in him, a huge smile every day! That's something I didn't see before.


Anyway, back to today's conference. His mom came in, a strikingly beautiful ex-runway model and volleyball coach from the Dominican. When she came in today, I noticed something different about her countenance as well. We sat down and did the usual talk about each grade for each subject. Then she stopped me and said, "What are you teaching Alex in Bible? Tell me more about it." She speaks with a thick Spanish accent, so I had her say it again. Then she told me that everyday Alex was coming home teaching her all about what he learned in Bible and about Jesus, and he was so excited about it. She said that she's never owned a Bible in her life, but that she and her husband had started reading Alex's Bible each night because they wanted to know more. We talked and she asked me many questions about God and Jesus and said she couldn't wait to find out more. She had tears in her eyes and thanked me for bringing Jesus into their home.

It was one of those surreal, goose-bumps moments where all you can do is just thank and praise Him! And to think...I never thought this kid was paying attention! I'm just so humbled that God has used me in this situation. Please continue to pray for Alex and his family, that he can continue shining his light at home! God is good! Keep planting seeds ya'll...you never know when and where they will grow!

Wonder

"I asked for wonder...and He gave it to me."

A prayer from Brenan Manning's book, Ragamuffin Gospel...

"Dear Lord, grant me the grace of wonder. Surprise me, amaze me, awe me in every crevice of Your universe....each day enrapture me with Your marvelous things without number. I do not ask to see the reason for it all; I ask only to share the wonder of it all."

Grant me wonder, Lord...

Hard Questions

As you can see by all of the smiling faces, I had a wonderful time reconnecting with my girls in Mombasa over Easter break. They are all so precious to me, and we spent a good long while catching up underneath the mango tree. I was anxious as to who would be there and who I wouldn't see because a "social worker" had taken them back upcountry. I didn't see Lucky. Lucky is a now 11-year-old girl who was brought to Wema off the streets when I was there in 2006. She had run away from home after being subject to much abuse from her stepfather. I remember her first days at Wema, so scared, and scarred; not trusting anyone, wanting no one to touch her. And I also remember seeing her emerge from that scared, protective layer she wore and learn how to jumprope and blow bubbles with the other girls. I was blessed to watch as Lucky learned how to be a child for the first time. It was beautiful! But when the government changed the laws back in December, and Lucky's mother who claims to be sober came to the Wema gate, they had to entrust Lucky back into the hands of this mother. Now, I understand this is a complicated situation. I do think that often times reuniting a child back with his/her rightful parents is an honorable thing and possibly the best thing. But it's still such a hard question, and one that I can't seem to reconcile with this particular situation. Apparently Lucky cried and fought and hung onto the guards because she didn't want to leave. But she didn't have a choice. I don't know if this was the right thing or not. I just know how scared she must have been that everything would happen again. And I asked a housemother, how can we know that the same thing won't happen to Lucky again? And the fact is, we cannot know. There's no system to figure that out here. And who will suffer again if it does happen again? The child will suffer. And there will be no justice. And that infuriates me. Now, I pray and hope that the mother is really sober and the stepfather is not in the picture and Lucky will be taken to school, and she will have enough food to eat at night. But we won't know. And I don't like not knowing these things.

I also had the privilege of spending time with Sandra and I wanted to update you about her situation, as I know many of you have told me you have been praying for her! She has secured a job at a hotel and is living with her sister, Catherine, in a one room house in Mombasa. She is trying to earn enough to help pay back the hospital, so that her aunt and uncle can keep the title to the small plot of land that they owe. She is grateful for you for your monetary gifts you have given, but especially for your prayers for her healing spiritually and emotionally, and physcially still as well. I see so much dignity and beauty in this young lady, and I know she will be just fine. But still, the questions remain. What if this awful thing happens to her again? What if she loses her job? What if the hospital bill never gets resolved and the land is taken away? I don't have those answers. I don't think she does either. So I guess faith is what we choose to stand on, what we must stand on.

And I want to tell you about Keziah, a dear friend who left Wema when I was there, and now has two small children to care for. She went to school with my friend, Paul, and she is my age! Yet when I look at Paul, and look at her, I see such a difference. He is healthy and strong and vibrant. She has an emptiness in her eyes and her soul. And she has AIDS. Keziah's husband infected her with the disease and then left her when she went to a VCT clinic and discovered her status. He has never gone for testing, and is seen in the town with many other women. One of Keziah's children, her son, Christian, is also HIV+ and he was born blind as well. As I spent time with Keziah and her children and we "hung out" and laughed and prayed and cried...I had so many of those hard questions in my head. Every time I see the face and the eyes of AIDS, I have the same questions lingering in my head....Lord, you are a God of justice. So why does this 29 year old mother of two have AIDS and not me? She didn't deserve this disease. She only wanted a family and to provide for them. Lord, what will happen to her and to Christian? And to her lovely daughter who doesn't have this horrible disease? Does she feel special at all? Does she ever feel beautiful? I don't want to fall into the terrible trap of just feeling sorry for her and so many others in this situation. Let me not take her dignity away by judging her or her situation. I just have to pray...Lord, send others into Keziah's life to uplift her, who can minister to her needs. Lord, let her feel loved and feel beautiful today when she lays her head on her pillow at night. Let her feel your love and protection. Lord, help us everywhere, to open our eyes to people and see them just as you see them. Rob Bell says, "When I respect the image of God in others, I protect the image of God in me." Did you know that $48 buys Keziah and her family enough food, medecine and supplies for about 5-6 months? Yep, I know it's hard to believe. I couldn't believe it either, at first! But it's true. They can eat, wash clothes, wash their body, take their meds for 6 months for only $48. And rent would be about $80 more. I kept thinking about all the things I've done with $48 before...bought concert tickets, dinner and alcohol, shoes, clothes, gas.....I'm just rambling here. I don't think we need to feel guilty because she is in this condition and we're not. But do we even know how much we are blessed? And how privileged we are? Just by growing up in America, and being white, at that, I am privileged. And thus, I can't be ignorant. I have a responsibilty. We have a responsibilty as the body of Christ. It seems so simple to me. Some people have. Some people don't have. If those who have, could just help one person who doesn't have, then we would all have. Simple, right? A favorite quote of mine is, "God gave the world riches, but he left it up to us to divy up the loot." And I know some of you who are thinking in terms of the economy and Wall St. and all that....that this is just too simple and it wouldn't work cause we need rich people to spend lots of money on frivilous things so money can be circulated and jobs can be created. But I don't think that we're gonna care about all those things in the end. We are just passing through here, on the way to our real home. Anyway...I had a wonderful time being with all these lovely ladies and seeing Jesus shine through, in all of their faces and souls. Even with all the hard questions, I do have faith and that gives birth to a calm waiting, a waiting of God's ultimate promise to all of his children.

"Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves...Don't search for answers, which could not be given to you now, because you could not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, some day in the future, you will without even noticing it, live your way into the answer." ~Ranier Maria Rilke

Even more Smiles from Wema :-)

More Smiles from Wema :-)